I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Drake has all the answers
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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