can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
