Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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