This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
