you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
