2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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