I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You pole danced in your parka.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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