I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
