i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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