you guys were way drunker than both of me
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I deserve this hangover.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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