i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
