Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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