arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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