I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
