Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
