Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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