i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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