I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm going to jail i love you
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
