Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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