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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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