Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
