Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
