I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
