remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
