tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
