You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
