Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
