as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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