i was rollin on her like bob the builder
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
