We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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