There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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