Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
