My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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