goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
