I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
