so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
