Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
