I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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