I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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