her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
