There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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