i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
