Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
