I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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