Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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