i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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