She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You smell like stripper and shame
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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