I accidentally burped into my bong.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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