You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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