After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
