I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
