she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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